I m not happy with the sentence structure for instant.

This essay has to be rewritten so it sounds better and brings over more emotions to the reader. The reader should be able to feel the pain the character goes trough (I am the character). It should also capture the beauty of the event as well as the fact that it was a very big, extraordinary opportunity I had. I m not happy with the sentence structure for instant. It is a personal statement I’m planning to send to several colleges. (Topic: Describe a Life-Changing Event)