What do you admire about the writing in the middle example 1 paragraph and what details do you think could be more concrete?

Below are an example of an introduction and two paragraphs from the middle of essays. Answer the questions about each each paragraph:
Introduction Example:
Have you ever been bullied or witnessed bullying? What did you do? Did you speak up to correct a rumor or stand up for you or someone else? I like to think that if I were around that happening today, I wouldn’t be afraid to say something. In 2019 statistics showed that one out of every five students reported being bullied. The most common form of bullying is being made fun of, called names and being the subject of a rumor. In 2002 I was the target of some bullying; here’s how it went.
Middle Example 1:
A few months later, we established ourselves and the village became our new home. The village had about 500 people, that amount increased very rapidly. We had people from all over the country coming to seek a save heaven. As a kid, I felt my childhood was messed up, because I couldn’t go to school and my life changed from being in the city to the village. When the population of the village starts to grow, we had a real sense of humanity, because we had different people that integrated. And we all were seeking refuge.
Middle Example 2:
The diversity visa program is a lottery program run by the US Department of State every year. 50,000 immigrant visas are made available to the winners of the lottery in order to migrate and live in the US permanent. I remember playing the US diversity visa lottery ten consecutive years without success. In 2016, I was selected as one of the 50,000 winners of the US diversity visa program. After winning the diversity visa lottery, I was later scheduled for an interview on June 25, 2018 at the US embassy in Monrovia, Liberia. I can recall waking up very early on Wednesday morning to prepare for a long awaited visa interview at the US Embassy. I was a bit nervous during the interview because my hope to move to the United States was very high. After the interview, the consular approved my immigrant visa. I became very ecstatic because that moment was a major turning point in my life.
What element or elements of the Introduction Example (broad topic, specific topic, thesis) is the introduction example doing well and what could it improve?
What do you admire about the writing in the Middle Example 1 paragraph and what details do you think could be more concrete?
What do you admire about the writing in the Middle Example 2 paragraph and what details do you think could be more concrete?
Remember to respond to at least one other person in the discussion about whether you agree with them or not and why, or if something they said just made you think about something specific.
or our next essay, we will be drawing examples from the various stories we’ve discussed so far in class about ordinary people and their experience of the criminal justice system or the people who work inside the justice system.
But you will also be required to use at least one example from your own knowledge and experience. Depending on which of the options you choose, try to brainstorm at least one example (or up to three examples) from your own experience (something from your life or someone you know) or your own knowledge of the world (the news or popular culture) that you could use in your essay.
For example, if I were writing about people affected by the justice system, I might come up with these (I want you to come up with examples that are different from mine). Try to give enough detail that people will know what you’re talking about:
1. I experienced the criminal justice system when, as a teenager, I was wrongfully arrested for credit card fraud.
2. A prominent recent example of someone affected by the criminal justice system would be the case of George Floyd and the officer who was convicted for his murder.
3. An example from popular culture would be the story of “To Kill a Mockingbird” which is partly about the trial of a man named Tom Robinson who is falsely accused by a white woman of rape.
To receive full credit, please respond respectfully and substantially to someone else, preferably someone who doesn’t have a response yet. Tell them what you think is interesting about their example or examples and why it might work for this essay assignment.