This must seem like a 11th grader wrote it please. Personal Essay Checklist Use

This must seem like a 11th grader wrote it please.
Personal Essay Checklist
Use this checklist to help you through the final revision process
Content:
Does the opening paragraph capture the reader’s attention?
Does the conclusion pull my ideas together?
Does each paragraph move forward to my final point?
Are the paragraphs ordered well for effect and to avoid confusion?
Are there transitions between paragraphs and a smooth flow from one thought to another?
Does my overall essay show, not tell (in other words, is there use of vivid description and sensory detail throughout)?
Is the voice of the essay personal and human? Do your unique qualities come through?
Do I use active voice, strong verbs, and interesting phrases?
Is my wording simple and clear rather than studious, plodding, and abstract?
Is the message clear?
Is the subject different and memorable without being bizarre, embarrassing, or too raw and personal?
Is my essay one I would be proud to share with my friends and family?
Style and Word Choice:
Is my tone appropriate? Too formal and stilted? Overly casual? Does it sound like me when I read it out loud?
Is every sentence clear and easy to understand?
Do I employ mostly strong action verbs or do I rely too much on weak “be” verbs?
Is my writing economical and concise or do I waste words? Which sentences can I shorten to make more effective?
Is there variety in the length of my sentences? Do I vary the structure of my sentences?
Do I say something new and important in each sentence, or do I repeat myself?
In every sentence, do I say what I intend to say or do I settle for something close?
Am I aware of the connotations of the words I use?
Do I avoid technical jargon and slang that might be unfamiliar to my reader?
Do I avoid clichés and bland, overused expressions?
Am I certain that I did not plagiarize any part (word choice, structure, ideas) of my essay?
Mechanics:
Is the word count correct? (500-600)
Are the paragraph breaks correct (no double space between paragraphs, indented one tab)?
Are grammar and punctuation flawless?
Is my verb tense consistent throughout the essay?
Do all my verbs agree with their subjects?
Is my title clever and correct (centered with no extra spacing, no bold, no italics, no large font, no quotation marks, no underline)
Double spaced
Times New Roman, 12 Font
No capitalization errors
No careless errors–read and reread.
Proper headers
Instructions for Using Headers
Go to insert.
Go to header.
Tab to right.
Type your last name, leaving some space at the end.
Move the cursor one space after your last name
Go back to insert.
Go down to page number and click first box on the top left.
COLLEGE ESSAY DON’TS:
Don’t: Use overly formal language and structure. This essay should sound like you wrote it. Not your mom, your English teacher, or your family friend who is a professional writer. Trust us, admissions officers can tell.
Don’t: List everything you’ve ever done. There’s no need to cram your life into one 650 word essay. Save all those extracurriculars for the application’s Activities section.
Don’t: Be vague. Specific details help your essay pop and take it from good to great.
Don’t: Tell instead of show. If you find yourself listing your positive attributes instead of sharing a story that illustrates those qualities, it’s time to reevaluate.
Beware of the narcissist pitfall–Show your experience, don’t ramble on about YOU:
I am a very sensitive person and have been ever since I was a little girl. I cannot stand cruelty of any kind. I was just a child when I saw my first example of racial prejudice, and it had a deep effect on me, for even then I could see that it was cruel. To me, the most important thing in the world is kindness….
Don’t: Write about overcoming an obstacle if you haven’t overcome one. Some students think they have to write about failures, challenges, or difficulties they’ve faced. Not everyone has experienced life-altering obstacles yet – and that’s ok! You have other stories to tell.
Don’t: Focus on someone else. There may be a really influential person in your life, and you may be able to write a great essay about that relationship, but don’t spend 650 words talking about how awesome that person is. You’re the one applying to college! You must connect this person to your own experiences and growth.
Don’t: Share your essay with too many people. If you ask for feedback from 47 people, you will get 47 different responses, which can get confusing. Pick just a couple people you really trust to read your essay when you’re ready for feedback.
Don’t: Wait until the last minute. The essay process can be exciting, empowering, and, dare we say it, fun – but not if you’re rushed. Get started early and you’ll stress less while giving that essay room to grow and breathe! After all, writing is a process, and it requires time and attention.
Cliche Topics to watch out for–(it doesn’t mean you can’t pick one of these, but if you do, you have to have an angle that makes it unique)
Overcoming a great obstacle or injury (ACL tear)
Immigrating to a new country
Community service (for example–you can write about building a house in Nicaragua but perhaps the focus can be on the potholes in the road or mixing the cement….)